So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
