you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize