What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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