I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
one two three fourrrrnication!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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