Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
