So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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