i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
