i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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