sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
