Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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