Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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