I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
