and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
