dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
