His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
