thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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