Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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