Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
