Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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