That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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