Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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