i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
