why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize