Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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