I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
