Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize