R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who died my cat blue again?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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