Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
