Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just gargled with NyQuil
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
