so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize