I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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