Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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