I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Less talking, more tequila
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
