Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize