nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
