i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
