I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
In America we eat man semen.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize