Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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