But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
