i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
