Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
