Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize