i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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