Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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