even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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