Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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