well I can't set my house on fire every night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
