Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
