Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
