bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
