I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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