Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
