We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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