SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
