that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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