Porn is love you can see.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
