put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
from now on my penis is your penis
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize