You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
